The Libertarian Party Anarchist Caucus has been formed by Libertarian Party of West Virginia chair Matt Harris.
“We support state-neutral platform language and a big tent Libertarian Party which welcomes anarchists and other radical activists. As the party of principle, we should always stay true to the principles of less government until there is none left,” Mr. Harris proclaimed.
“This caucus will be the greatest bastion of fearless resistance to tyranny to ever exist within the Libertarian Party. While we may not all agree on what to do with our freedoms, the LPAC will always stand in opposition to any who would abridge those individual freedoms through the use of fiat authority.”
Asked whether the group has any plans to acquire private nuclear weapons in the service of individual secession, Matt said “yes, absolutely,” while brandishing a butter knife.
He went on to say that “all Libertarians regardless of their philosophical backgrounds should join together in radical opposition to the state sponsored terrorism under which we all live each day in the United States”.
The anarchist caucus endorses the 5 key points of libertarianism:
1. The right of day care owners to install crack cocaine vending machines.
2. The right of all sovereign individuals to the ownership of nuclear weapons.
3. The right of all individuals to secede from the oppression of fiat authority such as governments and parents.
4. Principled opposition to any and all forms of non-consensual slavery, such as taxation. Consensual slavery between sovereign individuals is perfectly enjoyable.
5. Fuck the government!