Anonymous deepthroat source: President Trump set to return to Reform Party

A deepthroat source close to President Trump has leaked an upcoming announcement that the President has had it with the incompetent losers running the Republican Party. The President has already told Congressional Republican leaders privately that they’re fired after they failed to pass the replacement legislation for Obamacare and have allowed investigations into alleged Trump campaign, transition and administration ties to the Putin government to keep moving forward. The public announcement is set to come on Monday so it is not mistaken for an April Fools joke.

Donald Trump, pictured above with Reform Party Governor Jesse Ventura of Minnesota in 2000, sought the Reform Party nomination in 2000 and has now made plans to return to that party. Our source tells us that the President believes that the GOP was good for only one thing, which was to win control of the White House. Now, with that mission accomplished, they are about as useful to Donald Trump as an ex-wife, a former business partner or lender or a contractor seeking payment for work that has already been done. The President believes he can govern and be re-elected without their help, and considers them now to be nothing more than an albatross around his neck.

12 thoughts on “Anonymous deepthroat source: President Trump set to return to Reform Party

  1. Jim Polichak from Long Island

    If this is true, it won’t e the dumbest thing that Trump believes.

  2. Great ideas

    “A deepthroat source close to President Trump …”

    You spoke to Kellyanne Conway?

  3. George Phillies

    For political news:

    TheOnion closes operations. “We discovered people thought we were a serious news network, because our reports were more reasonable than reality.”

  4. dL


    I know it’s April Fool’s Day, but I could halfway believe this.

    Not Trump and deepthroat. Maybe Trump and anonymous source, ShallowPucker.

  5. Just Some Random Guy

    While the individual April Fool articles were funny, it was still a bit annoying to have so blasted many of them on April 1. This knocked actual, relevant articles off the main page.

    I think it would’ve been much funnier if they had all been condensed into one article.

  6. paulie

    The main page should really be all new articles every single day. There was a time when it was, and had 20 articles as opposed to 12. Unfortunately, I haven’t felt like doing that many every day and neither has anyone else. April Fools is an IPR tradition and this year we actually kinda slacked off, perhaps due to my hospitalization 🙂 A year or two ago we did 20-something articles that day.

  7. paulie

    “A deepthroat source close to President Trump …”

    You spoke to Kellyanne Conway?

    I think it was Roger Stone.

  8. Wang Tang-Fu

    Just Some Random Guy,

    While the individual April Fool articles were funny, it was still a bit annoying to have so blasted many of them on April 1. This knocked actual, relevant articles off the main page.

    I think it would’ve been much funnier if they had all been condensed into one article.

    A thousand pardons, but that would have required a great deal more coordination among the different IPR authors than actually takes place. Also, part of the fun is guessing which stories are spoofs and which ones are not.

  9. Wang Tang-Fu

    dL,

    Not Trump and deepthroat. Maybe Trump and anonymous source, ShallowPucker.

    You do have a point, a deepthroat’s talents likely would be wasted on President Trump.

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