Fom IPR comments:
NOVEMBER 17, 2008 (Berkeley, Calif.) — The Protestant Stalinist Party of America (PSP) today announced that comrade Yuri Titov won election as President of the United States of America, receiving 99.9% of all votes cast in the November 4, 2008 general election in the United States.
“Our congratulations to comrade Titov,” said Beatrice Bassingworth, General-Secretary of the Party and Chair of the Central Committee. “Unfortunately, due to the machinations of the imperialist insects in the Democratic, Republican, Green, Constitution, Libertarian, Socialist Workers, Socialist, Boston Tea, Objectivist, Prohibition, Reform, Pacifist and New American Independent Parties, comrade Titov’s vote total was suppressed.”
The PSP has announced its intention to file suit in Toledo Traffic Court seeking to block the certification of Ohio’s electors on the grounds of electoral fraud. It will also seek to have comrade Titov’s 1979 Ford Fairmont released from impound where it was placed due to non-payment of parking tickets.
For more information on the PSP, visit protestantstalinistparty.blogspot.com
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The Protestant Stalinist Party is America’s largest political party with more than 38 million registered members. Since its founding in 1685 it has represented the rights and dreams of American workingmen and workingwomen in a spirit of peace, international solidarity and class equality. The current General-Secretary of the Protestant Stalinist Party is Ms. Beatrice Bassingworth.
Furthermore, the party spokescomrade has announced that “On behalf of the Protestant Stalinist Party I would like to announce we have officially given Wayne Allyn Root our endorsement for King of Nye County, Nevada.”
Reactions so far have included the following:
The Catholic Trotskyist Party, while agreeing with the Protestant Stalinist Party on the idea that a combination of marxism and Christianity is beneficial for world civilization, must harshly criticize the Protestant Stalinist Party’s methodology and principles. The Catholic Trotskyist Party has much more dedication to personal civil liberties, the strength of the family, and the strength of government welfare. It will not make an alliance with the Protestant Stalinist Party in any situation, and it disendorses Wayne Allyn Root for any office.
The Catholic Trotskyist Party chairman would also like to reiterate that the chairman of the Protestant Stalinist Party is a different person from himself. He suspects that it might actually be Libertarian Joseph or Jim Davidson.
I, as chairman of the Catholic Trotskyist Party, promise that there will be a Catholic Trotskyist website soon, even though I have repeatedly promised it for the past year without delivering. We are confident that the Catholic Trotskyist Party of America would contribute more posts to this site than the Protestant Stalinist Party. Things will get a lot more complicated soon, however, as there are rumors that someone is about to start a movement known as the Mormon Maoist Party, and there is also talk of an Islamic Buddhist Bukharinist Party, as well as a Greek Orthodox Castroist Party.
The PSP responded,
The Protestant Stalinist Party rejects this false assertion by the parasitic fascist insect and asserts that the chairman of the PSP is, indeed, the same person as the chairman of the CTP. We also call on the CTP to disband immediately.
The CTP fired back:
The CTP rejects the allegation that it is a fascist insect. Catholics and Trotskyists in fact did more to fight fascism than many other groups. Stalinists aided the rise of fascism by attacking the trotskyists, many of whom were real Catholic Trotskyists, in the Spanish Civil War. The CTP again reiterates that it has never used any other account on IPR, and calls on the Protestant Stalinist Party to disband immediately. It would also like to know what denomination of Protestantism it subscribes to. Episcopalian? Methodist? Baptist? Presbyterian? Lutheran? It is a recipe for splits.
Soon, more voices joined the conversation…
The Maoist Scientology Party — the fastest growing party in the WORLD — would like to chastise the criminal and blasphemous Catholic Trotskyist Party and denounce it truly as an agent of the Dark Lord Xenu and his Galactic minions.
Only through the teachings of his Holiest Revolutionary Chairman Mao Zedong and its inevitable marriage to the teachings of our Lord L. Ron Hubbard will true happiness and peace make this world clear of psychiatry, invasive body thetans and evil suppressive persons, such as the vile Catholic Trotskyist.
Woe and pain unto this villain and his false philosophy! Praise unto our Lord L. Ron Hubbard and His prophet, Tom Cruise! May his Maoist revolution live for all time!
May the Lord L. Ron Hubbard strike down this blasphemous suppressive persons and their false psychiatric minions. Woe unto them!
May they join their lord Xenu under the impenetrable forcefield of exile for all time!
Blessed is the Lord Hubbard and His prophet Tom Cruise! May the Maoist Revolution live forever in their name and clear away all Thetans!
The Maoist Scientology Party hearby denounces the new Protestant Stalinist Party’s website as a vile tool of the Dark Lord Xenu and his psychiatric minions!
Woe unto them! May Tom Cruise in his wisdom smite them clean of thetans!
Guys, at first I was reluctant to form my own party. After all, I believe a party is a group of like minded people joining together to achieve a goal.
But then, I began to understand, as Ron Paul said, ‘there is no law against joining more than one party.’ In my arrogance, I never understood you could work for conflicting goals, in multiple places, that my need for consistency, mere sophmorism.
But, even being freed from this idea, I there was still that issue of a party being a ‘group’ of people.
But now I’ve come to understand, that in a transpolitical world, we must free ourselves of old school restrictions. And at last I’m truly free.
Free to announce the formation of the Orthodox Christian Andropov party.
Yuri Andropov had no real influence on Marxist thought, and his reign as the head of the Soviet Union so short, he will always be a bit of a footnote. But his complete lack of relevance, I’ve also come to understand, to be his Paulian genius.
He was also the only premier to die of total renal failure.
And so…. the Orthodox Christian Andropov Party, free from any particular beliefs whatsoever, I think is positioned very well to compete in the new transpolitical world.
We reject the sentiments of all previous posters, unless they coincidentally agree with our own, or, and this is key, you really want to believe them, in which case, we support you in doing so.
Soon, there was a takeover….
The Protestant Stalinist Party hereby announces it has merged with the Orthodox Christian Andropov Party. Any subsequent statement by the previous poster in contravention to that fact is denounced as bourgeois propaganda.
This merger was quickly condemned….
The merger of the The Protestant Stalinist Party and its vile brethren in the Orthodox Christian Andropov Party only serves of further evidence of their allegience with bourgeois suppressive psychiatrists and their Dark Lord Xenu!
We suspect these groups to be under the sway of the Criminal Pig Catholic Trotskist Party, secretly a bourgeois Atheist organization run by suppressive persons!
May they grind under the heel of the Maoist Scientology Party and it’s glorious socialist revolution under the banner of our Lord L. Ron Hubbard and His prophet, Tom Cruise.
There was a swift reaction:
The Protestant Stalinist Party hereby announces it has merged with the Scientology Maoist Party and the Catholic Trotskyist Party. The new party will be named “the Protestant Stalinist Party.”
As always, any subsequent statements by previous posters in contravention to that fact is denounced as bourgeois propaganda.
There was a coup, or counter-coup, or something…
Scientology Maoist Party announces that those breakaway factions in its ranks that sought to align itself with the growing and blasphemous Protestant Stalinist Party have been executed.
May their blood send a warning to the world to those that seek to undermine the O.T. Level 8 proletariat and the revolutionary teachings of Chairman Mao and our Lord L. Ron Hubbard.
We also announce that the Catholic Trotskyist Party is hearby disbanded and its membership absorbed into the body of the righteous Maoist Scientology Party.
Praise to our Great Teacher Mao Zedong, Our Lord L. Ron Hubbard and His prophet, Tom Cruise.
Woe unto the false bourgeois suppressive philosophies of Catholic Trotskyism and Protestant Stalinism!
Stay tuned for further developments….