Kitten urges rogue sheriffs, crooked cops, bank CEOs, war criminals, politicians and other illegitimate rulers to turn themselves in immediately!
MINNEAPOLIS– The Hennepin County Sheriff’s Office has announced plans to conduct a “sweep” of low-level fugitives this month, clearing warrants in a fashion similar to last December’s “Operation Year End Clearance.” In response, Kitten, a candidate for Hennepin County Sheriff, has announced “Operation Litter Sweep,” charging that Sheriff Rich Stanek is displaying gross negligence by only focusing on low-level crime. Hennepin County Sheriff Candidate Kitten is urging anyone who fits the following categories to consider locking themselves up before July 27th:
• Bank CEOs and other executives, especially those engaged in the theft of citizens’ homes through foreclosures, accepting government bailout payments, and various financial scams.
• Politicians from all parties who support war operations domestic and international, and steal funds to finance pet projects such as stadiums.
• Crooked cops or anyone in uniform who arrests, kidnaps, detains, harasses, beats, murders, or uses other types of force against people.
“This sweep demonstrates that our community does not tolerate violence in our neighborhoods, against our people or against our environment” said Kitten Sheriff. “We will urge offenders to take a principled stand and turn themselves in immediately – and in exchange request that a currently incarcerated nonviolent inmate go free”
In addition, Kitten will issue warrants on any war criminals that enter the area of Hennepin County. Kitten made it clear on Friday that these warrants apply to members of either political party. “DNC, RNC or independent – if you are contributing to promoting, supporting and engaging in war overseas or in our own backyard, we do not welcome you here.”
While Kitten has no policing power yet and will not arrest anyone, the campaign suggests that those who have engaged in crimes against humanity lock themselves away. This cost-cutting move will maintain current jail levels by replacing petty offenders with real criminals who could spend some time thinking about those they have harmed.
“Sheriff Stanek appears to want to fill up the jails with more people by holding all these “operations” against outstanding warrants”, says Kitten. “If he enjoys putting people behind bars, then maybe he should try to stay in one of those cells himself. There are millions jailed who deserve to go home to their families and friends rather than rot in a cell serving time.”
Kitten would like to see an end to the prison-industrial complex and raise awareness of the millions of people behind bars in a semi-hidden police state that few discuss in middle America. With approximately 2.5 million people locked up in US prisons and jails, we have the highest rate of incarceration in the world. Further, locally Minnesota’s black/white per capita incarceration rate is the highest ratio reported for any state.
If you want to voluntarily surrender:
• Adults may turn themselves in at anytime at the Hennepin County Public Safety Facility, also known as the Hennepin County jail at 401 South 4th Avenue, Minneapolis, MN.
• While you may get some strange looks by the current jailers, please state that you engaged in crimes and list who you have harmed.
• If they continue to resist jailing you, then sit outside in the waiting room. Eventually, they’ll find something to arrest you for if you refuse to move.
• It is recommended that you turn yourself in by midnight on Tuesday, July 27th, but if you are out of town and your private jet is not working properly – please report in before August 1st.
• Bring a form of government-issued identification with you (your papers please!),and cash, if you plan on paying back those whom you directly harmed with your policies.
How to help determine if you should turn yourself in:
• You go by a title such as “CEO” or “Executive,” or your employer is named something such as (but not limited to) “Wells Fargo”, “TCF”, or “Federal Reserve”.
• You go by titles such as “military general”, “president”, “mayor”, “politician”, “police officer”, “sheriff”, “senator”, “FBI agent”, “ICE”, or other titles of illegitimate rule.
How to provide TIPS:
Anyone with information about a powerful person who fits the criteria for Operation Litter Sweep may call 1-888-988-TIPS. Tips can also be provided to Minnesota Crime Stoppers at 1-800-222-TIPS. If these entities prove unwilling to respond to the most significant crimes in our county, contact the Kitten for Sheriff campaign at email@example.com.