Starr: Wiener Enters Race for LP Vice Presidential Nomination

Wiener Announces Bid for Libertarian Party’s Vice-Presidential Nomination

As a member in good standing of the Libertarian Party since 1972, Daniel Wiener today announced his willingness to be drafted as the Libertarian Party’s 2012 Vice-Presidential nominee.  Prior to his current service on the Libertarian National Committee, Wiener’s personal profile included stretches as Newsletter Editor, Executive Committee member, Judicial Committee Chairman, Secretary, Treasurer, Vice-Chairman, and Chairman of the Libertarian Party of California.  At California’s 1980 convention he was officially elected as the party’s Elder Statesman, at the then-unusually-young age of only 31, and has maintained that exalted position ever since.

Wiener brings a wealth of unconventional wisdom, if not monetary assets, to the perennially-underappreciated position of Vice-Presidential Candidate.  Together with expected LP Presidential nominee Gary Johnson, the Johnson/Wiener 2012 combination will make an extremely potent team, disseminating the Libertarian message that government must stop screwing with the country’s economy, and that it is time to infuse the body politic with a rebirth of liberty for future generations.

A More Seductive Philosophy

Americans have become accustomed to an Executive Branch which can’t perform.  The federal government suffers from massive electoral dysfunction.  The Constitution is being raped by both Democrat and Republican hot heads, while the passive voters are encouraged to just lay back and enjoy it.  Attempts to warn the public are quickly aborted by the syphilantic news media.

Wiener firmly believes that a seductive approach will lead to a much better out come than trying to force our Libertarian ideas upon unresponsive voters who are in political withdrawal.

Ending Taxpayer Defilement

After his designation as the LP’s Vice-Presidential standard bearer, the major element of Wiener’s policy thrust will be his Fully-Refundable Tax Proposal.  Banged out as a prophylactic measure to enhance the productive members of society, this plan will refund all compulsory taxes paid by U.S. taxpayers in the form of newly-issued 60-year Treasury bonds.  These “Longevity Bonds” will have a guaranteed yield equal to twice the interest rate of 30-year bonds, payable when the instruments reach maturity.

Longevity Bonds offer the vision of a distant future in which taxpayers will no longer be emasculated by the depredations of Leviathan Government.  But what if taxpayers can’t keep going long enough to achieve that desired climax?  Longevity Bonds will be fully transferable and procurable on the secondary financial markets (albeit with the potentiality that, due to their rather queer nature, they might trade at a discount to their face value).  How will the United States Treasury afford to cover the bonds at maturity?  Current extrapolations of computer trends suggest that Artificial Intelligences (AI’s) will vastly exceed human intelligence levels by that time, allowing us to postpone the solution to this seemingly-intractable problem until AI’s have attained the capacity to deal with it.  As a backup measure, in case a solution has not yet been conceived, Longevity Bonds will contain a provision allowing them to be rolled over for additional 60-year periods, but each time at an augmented interest rate.

Longevity Bonds are merely one example of the out-of-the-box thinking which distinguishes Wiener from other more “kosher” Vice-Presidential aspirants.  That’s why so many long-time Libertarians have complimented Wiener on his outstanding virtues:

  • David Nolan [co-founder of the Libertarian Party] – “When it comes to delivering the goods, Wiener’s pen is mightier than any sword.”
  • Dr. John Hospers [first Libertarian Party Presidential candidate] – “Wiener worked long hours on my behalf when I ran for President.  His campaign skills are hard to beat.”
  • Aaron Starr [Libertarian activist and Excel savant] – “Johnson and Wiener, those two don’t dick around!”
  • Sandi Webb [former Simi Valley Councilmember] – “For Dan to become Vice-President would be just one more of his many crowning achievements, which I personally find to be extremely satisfying.”

Wiener’s pole numbers continue to rise, so join in the excitement!  For further information or to make a large campaign contribution, contact JohnsonWiener2012@LibertarianParty.Info.


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22 thoughts on “Starr: Wiener Enters Race for LP Vice Presidential Nomination

  1. Less Antman

    A great choice: of all the people I know in the Libertarian Party, Dan Wiener without a doubt is the one with the greatest senility. And his proposal to finance government via a Fair Tax assessed on carnival rides, pie-eating competitions, and jelly bean counting contests at county fairs will mesh well with Johnson’s proposals.

  2. Let the T-Rex of Talk Radio Entertain U2day

    I thought writers weren’t allowed to print their own stories.

    Nothing more unique than using dead men’s endorsements.

    (Can’t you spare a dollar a day for liberty!?) LP Membership Center-

    Show everyone else on the road what you stand for and that you enjoy your right to be able to put a political bumper sticker on your car with our new “PROTECT FREEDOM” bumper sticker.

    Republicans don’t want anyone having more fun than they do, and the Democrats don’t want anyone making more money than they do. Libertarians want you to make money and have fun. – Andre Marrou, 1992 LP Presidential candidate –

    A libertarian is a person who believes that no one has the right, under any circumstances, to initiate force against another human being, or to advocate or delegate its initiation. Those who act consistently with this principle are libertarians, whether they realize it or not. Those who fail to act consistently with it are not libertarians, regardless of what they may claim. – L Neil Smith –

    When the rich make war it’s the poor that die. – Jean-Paul Sartre ->

  3. Q2Q

    Jesus, why is the LP going to nominate a ticket that will be the butt of all jokes. Johnson-Wiener, I mean really. Has the LP sunk so low to nominate two dicks? lol

  4. paulie

    I thought writers weren’t allowed to print their own stories.

    We’re changing that policy, starting today.

  5. Daniel Wiener

    Note: This was not Aaron Starr’s story, this was my press release. Aaron merely posted it.

  6. Rob Banks

    A ticket with the balls to get support from both Root and Shaft? Watch your mouth!

  7. Jill Pyeatt

    DW @ 10: I don’t think Root is a given for the vice-presidential nomination. If Johnson wins, we’re going to want some balance, not someone identified so heavily with Republicans. Besides, Root hasn’t announced that intention. If he wants to be begged to run “because there’s no one else”, he’s going to be surprised.

  8. Mark Axinn

    How can Dan be an elder spokesman at 31 in 1980?

    That makes him 62 now (six tears older than I am) which ain’t so elder either!

  9. Common Tater

    This ticket could really tip the balance of power by avoiding the taint that is associated with the two establishment political parties.

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