The Raymore Journal
September 25, 2015
Down to earth, literally a meat and potatoes kind of guy, Austin Petersen, a 1999 graduate of Ray-Pec, will officially announce his run for the Presidency of the United States tonight on John Stossel’s program that will air at 7 PM on Fox Business news. Petersen, who will run on the Libertarian ticket, took time out of his busy schedule to set down with his hometown newspaper for an interview.
Majoring in Music Theater at Missouri State University, Petersen had no inclination for politics initially. “I never really wanted to be a politician,” he said. At the encouragement of a growing grass roots group of people likeminded with him, Petersen decided to run. “If we look at the options we have right now, they are pretty dismal. I’m intensely interested in the ideas of freedom and liberty. I thought maybe this would be an opportunity for me to articulate to the American people what it really means to believe in limited government, constitutionalism, free markets and capitalism.”
If you watched what’s on the website that is not the latest episode.
So I watched the episode of Stossel I think he was supposed to be on, and he wasn’t on, unless it was in the first few minutes of the show that I missed.
Not sure what you mean by “claim….if.” I posted the link to the video and approximate time stamp above; check it for yourself.
The claim is that the candidate allegedly said “You *** piece of ***, you couldn’t even approach 1/4 of the *** that I *** in on a regular basis. It’s because I have class, ***!” – Austin ‘Mountain Dew Camacho’ Petersen
If he said that, he is entirely unfit to serve.
I don’t think many readers would be interested in 8th grade math. But feel free.
Chuck–if you fix that, I’ll consider putting this comment up as an article!
Seriously.
Oops… superscripts and subscripts didn’t work. I’ll fix that at my normal
computer in an hour.
Austin Petersen said (YouTube video with Chris Cantwell):
Let’s use this as a learning experience. Supposing Cantwell’s pyramid pussy pile is proportional to Petersen’s pyramid pussy pile (that’s a tongue twister!), how much taller is Petersen’s?
Recall the volume of a pyramid is (1/3)Bh where h = height and B = area of the base (whether that be a triangle or a square or whatever).
The area of the base varies as the square of the length of a side. The easiest example to see this is a square: A = s2, where s = the length of a side. The same general principle applies to triangles, etc. For simplicity, we can use square base pyramids.
Let the volume of Austin’s pussy pyramid be:
VA = (1/3)sAsAhA
Let the volume of Cantwell’s pussy pyramid be:
VC = (1/3)sCsChC
We are given that “[Cantwell] couldn’t approach even a quarter of the pyramid pile of pussy that [Petersen is] swimming in on a regular basis”.
Therefore:
VA > 4VC
(1/3)sAsAhA > 4(1/3)sCsChC
sAsAhA > 4sCsChC
But due to proportionality we know (x is a an unknown multiple we seek to find):
sA = xsC
hA = xhC
So:
xsCxsCxhC > 4sCsChC
xxx[sCsChC] > 4[sCsChC]
x3 > 4
x > cube root of 4
x > 1.5874
Therefore, Austin Petersen’s pyramid pile of pussy must be more than 58% taller than Chris Cantwell’s pyramid pile of pussy.
I’ll post any clips if/when I can find them. I was out working while the show aired so I haven’t seen it yet.
So did he actually appear on Stossel? Anyone have a link to audio? I’d be willing to type a transcript and post it here . . .
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TN-EeMOqQpg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuMIl86kj4E
ICYMI, Mr. Petersen also appeared on Alexander Snitker’s radio show this morning out of Tampa Bay, FL: http://1787network.com/2015/09/austin-petersen-interview-9252015/9065
Too Short? Talk about a guy who swims in a pyramid of pussy…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYy8FOAVMsU
He told me he plans to visit a lot of state conventions, but the Massachusetts convention was too short notice.
We invited Petersen to our State Convention on October 17, for the Presidential debate. He declined. He does not have the money to travel.
When I ran for President, the first thing I did was to drop $100,000 of my own money into my campaign account.
The FEC form for initial filing is extremely simple. It just asks for the name and address of the candidate, and party affiliation if any, and the name and address of the treasurer if the candidate has a treasurer. It seems odd anyone would need an attorney to help with this first form. Of course the actual campaign reports that follow are much more complicated.
Warren G
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_AeHPzylMn8
America doesn’t have a good history with dashing young presidents who get a lot of pussy. Nor with “youthful enthusiasm and inspiring rhetoric.”
There are less legitimate choices possible, I suppose.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgadkNSw6VQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mz9aJex-0Fs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0sik4yZHY8
Some have claimed that Austin is the male Libertarian Girl….
Maybe he is the male Wendy O. Williams?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcvgDDgma5o
So like Val Venis, but not Canadian.
Austin is not Canadian either, he is most definitely an American.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3qU821mlqM
“Austin ‘Mountain Dew Camacho’ Petersen”
I’d be more inclined to support Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho for the LP nomination. After all, he is a five time Smackdown champion AND a porn superstar.
Chris Cantwell or Megyn Kelly?
He couldn’t have said it to a nicer person.
Via FB discussions. Haven’t asked whether the author wants to be quoted so I won’t say who said it,
“Hi, I’m Austin Petersen and I’m running for president with The Libertarian Republic. *cough* I mean the Libertarian Party.”
“You tubby piece of shit, you couldn’t even approach 1/4 of the pyramid of pussy that I swim in on a regular basis. It’s because I have class, motherfucker!” – Austin ‘Mountain Dew Camacho’ Petersen
Wow! I hope he gets a crack at Megyn Kelly! He might just be able to trump The Donald!
Previous IPR discussions
https://independentpoliticalreport.com/2015/09/chat-with-libertarian-party-presidential-candidate-austin-petersen/
https://independentpoliticalreport.com/2015/09/austin-petersen-for-president-lp/
LOL, no, to Cantwell. It’s in a podcast around the 4 minute mark.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VuyHvaqd3w
He could have said that to me, though. My batting average is way, way, way down from the glory days of my youth. Although I would bet my lifetime score is still way higher. He’ll have to keep puffing away to catch up, but he has time.
Austin phoned me last night to ask for my support in convention. When I asked about his lack of filing with the FEC, he said he is working with attorneys to make sure everything is correct before submitting the paperwork.
He said that to you, Paulie?
via FB Nicholas Sarwark Austin hasn’t filed his FEC Form 2 (or at least hadn’t earlier this week when I checked), so he’s not listed on the official LP web page.
8 pm eastern. The article is apparently using local time zone for its hometown.
http://www.foxbusiness.com/on-air/stossel/index.html
“You tubby piece of shit, you couldn’t even approach 1/4 of the pyramid of pussy that I swim in on a regular basis. It’s because I have class, motherfucker!” – Austin ‘Mountain Dew Camacho’ Petersen
Thanks, updated
Petersen, three ‘e’s.
I guess I’ll have to watch Stossel tonight. He sounds like the best of the lot so far.