Libertarian Party: Time To Be Grateful to Government For All It Does

DATELINE: Washington, DC

In an anonymous press release leaked to IPR earlier today, the National Libertarian Party announced it is “turning over a new leaf” and will now be focusing all its efforts on praising the US government for what it does right.

The release reads in full:

“As Libertarians, we are accused of being recalcitrant and obstinate. We don’t play well with others and we fight amongst ourselves.

“Today, we wanted to change that. Today, we wanted to do something nice for once.

“The Libertarian Party is officially turning over a new leaf. Instead of bashing the government, the 117th Congress, and President Biden, we wanted to highlight their successes.

“We know change is hard, but we are committed to loving our government. After all, we know these accomplishments took a lot of hard work and all of these politicians deserve to be recognized for their efforts.

“In no particular order, we are grateful for:

• The passage of the Consolidated Appropriations Act of 2022 (to the tune of $1.5 trillion);
• Maintaining our record as the country with the highest incarceration rate in the world;
• Congress taking a hard line and refusing to legalize adult-use cannabis;
• The federal government’s forced resignation/termination of thousands of unnecessary healthcare workers due to vaccine mandates.
• Congress prioritizing spending over reforming our immigration laws;
• Then, Congress raising the borrowing limit to allow for more spending;
• Making supply chain issues worse by making it impossible for people to bypass the issues due to crippling regulations (these regulations have been around for a while, but we couldn’t fully appreciate them until now).
• Carrying the dollar to brand new heights of inflation;
• AND MANY, MANY, MORE.

“Everyone makes noise when politicians make mistakes but rarely do people say “thank you” for a job well done.

“To government officials everywhere, thank you for everything you do to make our lives better.

“Sincerely,

The Libertarian Party”

The media release concludes with a DONATION button which can be found HERE.