EXECUTIVE SUMMARY: When the Libertarian Party raised the price of Life Memberships from $1,000 to $1,500 in 2014, there was a one-time spike in the purchase of Life Memberships to beat the deadline, which resulted in a revenue windfall of tens of thousands of dollars. That bump suggested that other extended-period memberships might be equally profitable. Accordingly, the Re-Membership Committee was formed to consider out-of-the-box options to the existing Libertarian Party dues structure. Our committee was tasked with presenting its recommendations in time for the 2016 national convention to consider them. This is our committee’s report.
The Libertarian Party’s membership structure currently consists of non-dues-paying members who have signed the non-initiation-of-force pledge; sustaining members who have paid at least $25 per year; and life members who have paid $1,500 (or more in some cases, for higher honorary levels). But each life membership ends by definition with that person’s death. What happens afterwards? In rare cases supporters have left bequests for the LP in their wills, but that is an unpredictable and undependable source of revenue. Furthermore, it provides little direct benefit to the donor after his or her death, and only hypothetical benefit for the furtherance of libertarian values which the donor will never actually see.
We propose to solve this problem by offering Post-Life Memberships in the Libertarian Party, which will be pre-paid but take effect only after a person’s death, thus filling a currently under-served donor niche. Establishing a much freer society for our nation and indeed the entire world is a life-and-death matter and should be treated that way. By purchasing a Post-Life Membership, a person’s association with the LP will transcend that artificial boundary, and will represent an enduring legacy.
Suggested Post-Life Membership levels would be as follows:
Libertarian Party Angel — $3,000. This would be a limited-period post-life membership which would only extend until the year 3,000.
Libertarian Party Archangel — $33,400. This is an unlimited post-life membership, with the amount indexed to the FEC’s maximum annual contribution limit.
Libertarian Party Heavenly Inhabitor — $100,200. This is a specialized post-life membership aimed at Libertarians who are focused on where they will dwell in the after-life. It represents the maximum annual amount which the FEC says can be contributed to the LP Building Fund, and will also be indexed to that contribution limit.
Libertarian Party Lucifer — $1,000,000 and up. This is an unrestricted post-life membership for Libertarians who refuse to be bound in either life or death by arbitrary rules and standards, and are willing to brave the consequences (whatever they may be) in the cause of freedom.
All Post-Life Members will be sent electronic copies of the LP News to their last known email addresses, and their estates will continue to receive the same email fundraising pitches as all other LP members. Their names will be placed on plaques in the LP office and memorialized at the next national convention, and they will continue to pad the Libertarian Party’s membership rolls just as Life Members do.
(As a side note, we believe that libertarians who have been placed in cryogenic storage should still be able to qualify for Post-Life Memberships. When they are successfully revived, they would then be categorized as “un-dead” and their Post-Life Memberships would be suspended until such time as they later re-died.)
The Re-Membership Committee is optimistic that a test mailing targeted to older sustaining members and especially to current Life Members could produce exceptionally lucrative results. We urge that this be done as rapidly as possible, since time is of the essence before more of this demographic passes away.
This report is hereby submitted on behalf of the Re-Membership Committee this day of April 1, 2016 by Daniel Wiener, Chair, who wishes to express his appreciation to the rest of the Committee, especially Aaron Starr, Alicia Mattson, and David Nolan (deceased).
Daniel Wiener, Re-Membership Chair
P.S. While we had originally intended to include Pre-Life LP memberships with the Post-Life proposals, our committee has been unable to complete that portion by the April 1st target date. Several complex issues remain to be resolved, such as whether the Pre-Life memberships would apply prior to conception between the sperm and the egg, or prior to actual birth? Also, in the case of a miscarriage, would the parents be entitled to a full refund or a pro-rata refund based on the fraction of nine months? And how would unexpected multiple births be handled? For example, are twins each entitled to half of a Pre-Life membership, or must parents buy an extra one? These represent difficult philosophical questions upon which libertarians can reasonably disagree.

Then why did so many of them vote for Trump?
Zombie Americans vote Democrat…
I regret that the LNC won’t have Dan Wiener to kick around anymore. He has been a source of wit and wisdom during my entire tenure on the committee and we lose that by his decision to get on with real life.
Why not an eternal membership? Alive and dead. This clears up all of the resurrection paradoxes etc., etc. Messiahs, medical miracles, immortals, undead, corpsicles all covered.
I suggest $227,545. Anything larger wouldn’t work anyway (unless the FEC boosted annual contribution limits), because the Sun will go Red Giant before the LNC could legally access the rest of the funds. Members would still stay members, but the jurisdiction of the LNC is purely terrestrial.
“This plan focuses on the incorporeal dead, and not the undead. Zombie Americans rights are important too, and could be an important constituency for the LP.”
I can foresee a problem: Every time I’ve seen zombies (usually in movies) they seem to be moving very slowly. Will they be able to get to the polling places in time to vote? Or do they just set their alarm clocks early enough to compensate?
Marshall Applewhite would be very proud of the above human levels of “doe” nation.
Heaven’s Gate Away Team. Ahoy!!
Does this apply to those who are simply brain dead (a.k.a. Petersen supporters)?
Does one have to be actually dead to qualify?
What about people who should be dead?
Also, are we including Democratic voters in Chicago, some of whom may still be alive?
This plan focuses on the incorporeal dead, and not the undead. Zombie Americans rights are important too, and could be an important constituency for the LP.
Should they be required to sign the pledge of the NAP? After all, generally dead people are not commonly known to aggress against others.
“Why do they put fences around cemeteries, it’s crazy without a doubt. The people outside don’t want to get it, and the people inside can’t get out” —-Benny Hill.
WHY ALL CAPS?
This has to be April Fools joke, right