Time Capsule: Anarcho Claus and Parody Political Christmas Carols

Forty-five years ago the anarchist classic The Legend of Anarcho Claus was first published in New Libertarian Weekly (n54, 26 Dec 1976, p3-4).

The tale relates the story of, “Little Janie White who wants a chemistry set for Christmas, but her parents (try to) prohibit it. Tearfully waiting up until midnight . . .  Janine discovers . . . Anarcho Claus” (from the back cover of the revised and expanded 2008 edition by Samuel Edward Konkin III (SEK3) and Victor Koman (available HERE)).

Classic lines include:

Anarcho Claus: “Enough of the clatter of hooves from you eight tiny reindeer already. Keep watch for patrols with your ultra-violet vision, Rudy.

“That didn’t sound like the white-bearded, red-suited fellow she was waiting for. . . . What to her wondering eyes did appear? . . . “Call me Anarcho, kid.” . . . Okay, Anarcho Claus and you can call me Janie, instead of “kid” . . . Are you checking to see if I was naughty or nice?” . . .

Anarcho Claus: “No point in giving somebody property if they don’t believe in it.

(emphasis added)

Page 4 of the 26 Dec 1976 issue of New Libertarian Weekly also included several political parody songs set to tunes of various Christmas carols, including such classics as:

 Anarcho Claus is Coming To Town by SEK3
(tune: Santa Claus is Coming to Town)

Initiate force?
You better not try
You better not steal
I’m telling you why
Anarcho Claus is coming to town

He’s taking a risk
Flying in low
Smuggling in toys
So the statists won’t know
Anarcho Claus is coming to town

He sees you when you’re trying
To trade what’s good for you
For all the stuff you really want
So he’ll run in for you.

So . . . Be closing your door
But not very tight
The market will clear
Late Christmas night
Anarcho Claus is coming to town.

Joy to the World by SEK3
(tune: Joy to the World)

Joy to the world
The State is dead
Let Earth receive no king.
Let every heart, be unrestrained
At last we’ve broken free!
At last we’ve broken free!
At last, at last, we’ve broken free!

Joy to the Earth
No monarch reigns.
No politician’s left.
We come to burn . . . the ballot box
Far as the vote is found
Far as the vote is found
Far as, far as, the vote is found.

No rule on Earth!
Now truth and grace
Are everyone’s birthright.
The market is free, and anarchy,
Is found throughout the land.
Is found throughout the land.
Is found, is found, throughout the land.

No more let tax
Or tariffs vex
The workers or the boss.
Inflation is gone.
Our money is sound
And freedom is our right
And freedom is our right
And freedom, freedom is our right.

Other parody carols of note (not reproduced in full) include:

Anarchy (Jingle Bells) by Victor Koman. “Smashing through the State in the Anarchist Brigade, non-coercive folk freeing all the way. . . .  Counter-Economic Xmas (Oh Little Town of Bethlehem).  “Counter-economically, we earn our daily bread, no T-men will observe our still or vice squad see our bed.  And Tidings of Freedom and Joy, published in NLW a year later on 25 Dec 1977 (God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen) by SEK3.  “God rest ye merry gentlemen, If you’re content to wait, but let me speak up for myself, I wish to smash the State . . .

IPR thanks Dr. Victor Koman for permission to reproduce the excepts and carols above.

IPR readers with similar season-appropriate political parody carols are encouraged to post same in the comments below.

The Legend of Anarcho Claus: The Secret Story of Santa’s Rebel Son 2008 edition by Samuel Edwin Konkin III and Victor Koman is available at most booksellers, including Amazon (HERE) and directly from Dr. Koman, autographed if you’d like, HERE.

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About Joseph Buchman

Joe is a retired, formerly tenured professor of marketing and finance with an interest in adventure travel, chasing total solar eclipses, and Burning Man. He is a long-time volunteer with the Sundance Film Festival, former Chair of the Utah Libertarian Party and current Chair of the financial Audit Committee of the Libertarian Party. He and Cindy, his wife of over 25 years, have raised four highly successful children, several cats, and have generally failed with every houseplant ever gifted to them.

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