In an emergency meeting of the Libertarian National Committee’s Executive Committee yesterday, of which six of the seven members were invited, the following resolution was adopted unanimously.
Whereas, today’s ruling of the Libertarian Party’s Judicial Committee finds that Government is the final arbiter as to which organization shall be recognized as a political party,
Whereas, the Judicial Committee’s conclusion is that adherence to bylaws is no longer a relevant factor in party governance, and
Whereas, the Federal Elections Commission recognizes the Libertarian National Committee as the national committee of the Libertarian Party [see 2 U.S.C. §§431(14); 11 CFR 100.13] and as such “is responsible for the day-to-day operation of the political party at the national level,” such recognition being ongoing since the FEC issued its Advisory Opinion 1975-129,
Therefore be it resolved, the Libertarian National Committee hereby suspends its Bylaws until new ones can be appropriately crafted by the Committee, disbands the Libertarian Party’s Judicial Committee, cancels the upcoming regular convention and declares that it is the sole authority for all matters involving the party, including the selection of its nominee for President, so long as Advisory Opinion 1975-129 is in force.
In an official statement, Chairman Mark Hinkle stated, “There was a time when we believed that the Bylaws were the authority under which we operated. Imagine our surprise when we discovered we were so wrong about something so fundamental.
“We wish to thank the majority of the Judicial Committee and the Libertarian Party of Oregon for setting us straight. Through our suspension of the Bylaws and decision to acknowledge Government as our sole authority to act, rather than the membership, we enter a new dawn where we can without hindrance expand upon liberty and restore the rule of law in this country.”
When questioned about the decision, Former Judicial Committee member Nicholas Sarwark replied, “Uh…oh. We didn’t anticipate that. We would consider an appeal of the decision by the membership, if we still existed.”
Former Judicial Committee member R. Lee Wrights declared, “Rules for thee, but not for me. Only we members of the Judicial Committee are entitled to violate our bylaws.”
[I reserve the right to modify the above spoof to increase its amusement quotient. Suggestions to improve upon the parody are welcome.]