While the 2014 midterm elections are just now getting into full swing, the Modern Whig Party has made a bold, proactive step and held their nominating convention early, and have nominated Henry Clay, the original Whig Party leader who died in 1852 and was reanimated earlier this year, for President of the United States.
“This may seem like a highly unusual choice, and some may question Mr. Clay’s eligibility for the office,” said Andrew Evans, chair of the Modern Whig Party. “However, we’re confident that even in his current, rotting, undead, flesh-starved state, Henry Clay meets the Constitutional Requirements for the Presidency, and will make an excellent commander-in-chief.”
“Clay brings a lot to the table.” Said T.J. O’Hara, the party’s 2012 candidate. “He’s got a ton of experience, he’s a true statesman, and with the growing popularity of The Walking Dead & the zombie genre in general, we’re confident that Clay’s message and centrist principles will resonate with voters. This is a great day for Whigs!”
The party has been trying to get Clay up to speed on current events. Since his time the nation has grown from 13 colonies to 50 states, slavery has been abolished & we now have an African American president. However, when this reporter pressed the ex-cadaver for comment, Clay merely moaned and requested “BRA-A-A-A-A-INS”.
In related news, the Prohibition Party’s attempts to reanimate John Bidwell remain fruitless.